A couple full days

The past few days have been very interesting. I have been praying for more of a social life, and BAM! I have three dates lined up for this weekend! Prayer is a powerful thing, and I am realizing this. I prayed for cheddar to come home, and he did. I prayed for direction in my life and my prayers have been answered. I am currently contemplating going back to school in the spring at Cleveland State University. I'm not quite sure which degree I will chose to pursue. I have also been praying for a push in the right direction. I know I will succeed at anything I put my mind to. It's just a big decision. I thought I had a career, It was my niche. Now, for some reason there is obviously a different plan for me. I am confident that I will have the appropriate answer when the time is right. I am exerting all my energy attempting to be patient. I prayed for patience once, and it was by far the worst day of my life. So, needless to say, I will NEVER pray for patience again, so I will just have to learn to be patient in my own time.

A few days ago, I received a surprising phone call. The caller called from an unknown number. Usually I don't answer phone calls from unknown numbers, but for some reason, I answered it. The voice on the other end of the phone said "HI". That's all it took for me to recognize who it was! It was Sister Mcneill! My heart was instantly warmed from the loving familiar voice on the other end. We had a good conversation, and we decided since she was so close to me that we would have lunch. I was tickled pink at the fact that she cares for me so much. I met her and Sister Soleberg at the church. It was then we decided to go back to their house for chocolate pancakes and eggs. We laughed, we cried, we shared good stories, and some not so good stories. Sister McNeill said something to me that broke my heart. She said that the light in my eyes was gone. I figured as much anyways, but hearing it from someone who loves me broke my heart. I want to have my light back so badly. I just know I'm not ready to get back into the swing of things. She made me promise to read a chapter from the BOM and write her a letter about what I thought and how it made me feel. I also promised her that I would heavily consider going to church with her. I told her that I wasn't ready and I wouldn't go unless my heart was into it. I originally got baptized because my heart was in it. I wouldn't have done it any other way. I know you are probably reading this and shaking your head at me, but IF i ever go back to church, it will be because I'm ready, not for anyone else but myself. Sister Titera took a few pictures, of Abi and I, and also Sister Soleberg, Abi, and I. I want a copy of it so I can post it. It was so nice to see her. My heart is warmed every time I talk to her. But, shes still on her mission, and I need to respect the fact that while she doesn't support my lifestyle, she still loves me. I told her that while I was in Utah, I felt like an honorary member of the McNeill family. Abi said, "you still are". I love the love I feel from y'all. Thank you

Living life to the fullest

Today, I woke with a positive attitude, and it set the tone for the day. I decided to deep clean most of my house. I rearranged furniture, cleaned underneath everything, and mopped the floors like 3 times. It feels so nice to be in a clean home. I was once told by my grandmother that cleanliness is next to godliness. It is so wonderful to just sit back and enjoy the hard work I put into cleaning. I love being able to see results.
Lately, I have been praying for a new opportunity to rejoin society. Or a new opportunity for a social life. I think I am ready to get a job or maybe volunteer somewhere. I am getting to the point where I feel like a bum, just sitting around the house. I just watched the movie YES MAN. It was so funny, I love Jim Carrey. The movie was about living life to the fullest. The world should be my playground.Unfortunately, My world has become so small. My house has become my world, and I'm ready to expand and grow!!! I'm ready to experience life again. I'm ready to have a purpose, to be accountable for something. Maybe I'm even ready to love again.

Life is Wonderful

I love this song, and I wanted to share it with y'all. Here are the lyrics, just in case The video doesn't work.

"Life Is Wonderful"

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

La la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is so full of
Ah la la la la la la life is so rough
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is our love
Ah la la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life is meaningful
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life it is...so... wonderful
It is so meaningful
It is so wonderful
It is meaningful
It is wonderful
It is meaningful
It goes full circle
Wonderful
Meaningful
Full circle
Wonderful

Oh boy am I excited!

This morning, I woke up feeling really sad and lethargic. I was sad because my cat has been missing all week. I was going to try to make myself feel better by getting some exercise in. So, I went out to the garage and began pumping my bike tires up. While pumping my tires, cheddar walks right up to me like nothing ever happened. I of course started to cry because I was almost convinced that he was gone forever, and I was just so happy to see him. I held him in my arms, and listened to him purr. Him coming home was an awesome gift. I have been praying so hard for Cheddar's well being, and for him to come home. And now, here he is, home and healthy. It's those good moments in life that make life worth living. So I still went for a bike ride. I rode up to the Verizon store, and got myself a new blackberry. I'm finally up with the times! The day isn't over yet and I'm feeling pretty good. I guess I just feel like everything is falling into place. Don't you just love those days?

meant for greatness

Life has such an interesting way of unfolding. I am beginning to realize that while I do have my own free will, certain things are meant to happen. I believe life is all about experiencing all it has to offer. Like I said, it is very interesting how people come in and out of your life, at the most perfect times. Someone up there is looking out for me, for sure.

My roommate situation was not working out at all. When your home life sucks, everything sucks. I believe that home should be comfortable. It should be someplace safe. It should be someplace that you want to go to kick back and relax. It should bring feelings of happiness, security, and peace. Unfortunately, my previous roommate made life at home completely unbearable. I take full responsibility for my own actions and emotions. It is difficult to take any more than %50 of responsibility, when another is compromising my sanity. I'm happy to announce that that horrible phase of my life is finally over. Now, that the chains and shackles are completely removed, I feel a sense of freedom. I feel an obligation to myself to get back to that person I was meant to be. I don't want to sound cocky or conceited, but I know I am meant for something extraordinary. I'm now open to the possibility of becoming somebody great. I am ready and waiting for any opportunity to come across my path.

Halloween

I went out to a couple of parties for Halloween. I got all dressed up in my construction gear. I got to dust off my tool belt and dig out some tools to wear. I got out my hardhat, strapped on my timberland boots, and put on a flannel shirt. It felt so good to to put on all my old gear. I felt so proud to sport my Hard Hatted Women gear. It was nice to pretend for a night that I am still a functioning member of society. I am looking forward to the day where I can come home after a hard day's work and be proud of myself and my accomplishments.