I am alive!

Wow, I cannot believe it has been over a month since my last post! Where has the time gone? I have to get back into blogging on a regular basis. This past holiday season was definitely filled to the brim with family, friends and lots of yummy food! For Christmas, I bought myself a very nice piano/keyboard. I also received an acoustic guitar from my father for Christmas. I am currently teaching myself how to play piano and guitar. I am slowly learning how to play both instruments. I'm not very good at either instrument yet, but I have confidence that with a little persistence and a lot of passion that I will continue to improve. I find that learning and playing music is very therapeutic. I find it to be so therapeutic that I named my guitar DOC! (as in a doctor, lol) I love listening to, learning, and playing I enrolled in school and classes start on February 3rd!

Journey of the Soulmate

The Journey of the Soulmate is a book we wrote together. We designed the whole thing from start to finish. We decided it would be some art that we could do together and also have a growing experience with it. My imagination sparked one day and we very smoothly developed the concept of the whole thing. We then agreed easily on the name and slapped the words "Journey of the soulmate" on it. We began brainstorming on topics of possible topic pages to create. The whole idea was to make a scrapbook of topics and to put together art journal interpretation of the on emotion topics. Some topics for pages are:  Who am i? what my spiritual principals are? family, goals, hopes and dreams? Chain of Love, nature, how hate feels, my page of you and your page on me, accomplishments, and so many more. By the time we created a couple pages together, we noticed the book was a living thing. Her and I are soulmates. There is no doubt about it. Our thoughts were synced up to one anthers. My love and attachment to her grew closer with this book.  We wanted to document our love for each other, and our journey with a soulmate. Unfortunately this living breathing cherished book is lost forever. Wondering if its in the trash or packed away in her parents basement. I don't know when or if I will ever see this wonderful book which was proof that we loved each other. The compilation of emotions transcribed in mixed media were well preserved. I am terrified that I won't ever see this awesome proof of soulmates. This book is tangible proof that love is real. It can be seen in our art work.  God it makes me so sad to let go.....I wish I could get it back from her, But she isn't here any longer. She's gone for good. Nope. Never coming back...as in finite, zero, zilch, none. How can she have died on me like that? AT LEAST I CAN ALWAYS SAY HER AND I  WERE ABLE TO GO ON A JOURNEY OF THE SOULMATES. Not many others can claim this level of closeness.

Fallen Angel

This is so difficult to write this right now. Today is March 3, 2017. On December 31st I made an incredible declaration that the new year beginning on the 1st of January, my life would be substantially different for the better. I was so incredibly hopeful and excited to have a great year. Unfortunately, I have run into so many obstacles and dead ends so far this year. The first two months of this year have just sucked so bad. I am not in good health mentally, physically, and most importantly spiritually. I've been hospitalized twice in the previous 3 months. Living with serious depression and debilitating chronic pain  would ruin anyone's life. I truly feel if anyone tried walking a day in my shoes it would kill them. Maybe God knows how strong I am and has faith in me that I can handle just about anything.I really don't feel like I am strong at this point in my life. Eventually there comes a point in my sad little life where I need to remember to breathe in and exhale. Right now breathing in and out is a treacherous chore. Sorry to say that I am so messed up in my head right now and I cant figure a way out. So I am calling out to my angels who watch over me to help me get through this painful time in my life. I have a few angels, but if you let me borrow yours until my life turns around into a healthy place I promise that I will give it back to you. The more angels watching over me the better. So here's my SOS "I'm crying out to all my friends, my family, and all those anonymous generous souls out there to send me your angels until I get back on my feet again.